tuesday noontime: i surprise her by sending her a box of chocolates delivered to her work. she "teases" me and doesn't tell me she has them. but then confirms she loves them.

tuesday afternoon: she calls around 5pm (i have just come out of a meeting) she is in acute pain but instead of communicating what really is going on, she yells and acts out and is exceedingly rude. she explains that she's not mad - but how can she not be, when she is yelling. she does not tell me she is in pain and wants to go to the ER. she does mention that she has some pain later.

tuesday afternoon within an hour: i tell her i am leaving and will pick her up from her building. she tells me she will walk to me. i tell her i'd rather pick her up since she is in pain. she walks towards me instead.

tuesday early evening: we are in the car, she tells me she loves her chocolates. her face doesn't match. she is in pain. i know so i allow it. we stop to pick up mediterranean food to go. i ask if she wants any. she tells me she doesn't. later at night, she complains that i didn't get any for her. i am a shit girlfriend.

tuesday evening: i ask her if she's taken any painkillers. she tells me she hasn't. i ask her if i can give her some. she tells me she'll take them herself. i ask her twice more. she repeats she will take them herself. i stop. when we talk, she tells me i should have given them to her anyway.

i am upset.she gets the bottle and is struggling to open it and then comments about how unhelpful i am.

we fight. i cry. she cries. she tells me she doesn't like that i don't love her like i used to. i ask her if there is something wrong in what i'm doing / saying.

she tells me i have changed.

we fight some more.

we decide tomorrow is a new day.